Grandma

Grandma in her favorite spot on the porch- May 2017 (92.5 yrs old)

 I am so grateful to be 44 years old and still have one grandparent left.. the matriarch of my mom's family..the eldest of 12 siblings, mother of 6, grandmother of 17, great grandmother of 38, "Mom, Grandma, Grandma Hubbard, GG, Dottie, Dorothy Maxine.. she has many names. But to me she will always be my precious grandma, who has more energy and zip than any other.

Going to Grandma and Grandpa's house was part of growing up. Marsi and I would spend summers laying by the pool, swimming, dressing up in costumes in the old barn, exploring the attic and running around the yard (usually accompanied by at least 2-3 cousins). We looked forward to the Velveeta cheese slices and Bologna that were always faithfully kept in the left drawer of the fridge along with jello pudding cups and whipped cream from the can (which Grandpa would squirt straight into our mouths) Grandma to this day still has glass containers of various snacks displayed on her counter with little dixie cups so that visitors can sample the contents.

In college I lived with Grandma for three weeks while taking a summer course nearby.. we went out to lunch every day (Hungry Hunter or Carrows were her favorites) and enjoyed TV time in the evenings together leaning back in the reclining sofas and discussing the news of the day.  She always rose early.. I could hear her humming at 4:30 am as she cheerily went about her daily chores. By the time I woke up she was ready with a mocha and we would sit on the deck while she told me a play by play of her morning and all the things she had accomplished before 7 am.

In my adult years the sleep-overs with Grandma have continued whenever I am in town.  The most recent was this past Christmas of 2016. We have been living in England for two years and when Grandma was diagnosed with Congestive heart failure in the past year we knew we had to make a visit back to Encinitas to spend time with her. John and I stayed upstairs in the girls' room (she still calls it that from when the 4 girls shared that room growing up) Every morning I would go check on Grandma and she would pull the covers down for me to join her. We stared up at the cedar ceiling and talked about the shapes we saw in the wood, talked about her growing up years in Illinois and how hard it was, talked about her happy life with Grandpa and six kids in California, talked about all the family news.. talked and talked. I cherish those talks, just being next to her.  The hardest moment of my life so far was saying goodbye at the end of that visit. I knew her prognosis was grim. She didn't want surgery to repair her valve and the Dr's estimated three months. We had another 18 months in England. All day I steeled myself for the final hug, the final kiss. 
How do you say goodbye to someone for the final time while they are still there? Someone who is still laughing and vibrant, doesn't even look sick?  My beautiful grandma with her curly white hair and dancing brown eyes.. with the best laugh in the world that seems too big for her tiny 4'11 frame.  As we hugged, the dam broke. I wept..big shaking sobs... She wept.  We couldn't let go. We both knew we would no longer see each other here on this Earth. Finally we parted saying "I love you" again and again. I cried all the way to the car but hid my face so she wouldn't see from her perch on the deck where she always stands to wave goodbye. I peeked as we went around the corner and sure enough she was there waving still. I waved back, one last time. Trying to keep the visual in my mind forever of Grandma Hubbard, in her happy place, waving from the deck. The same deck she has sat on for over 60 years and watched her toddlers grow into grandparents on. 
"I love you Grandma, talk to you soon!"

And we have talked, at least once every few weeks. She has defied the odds and made it to August. 8 months instead of 3. The past month has been a steady decline though and each phone call gets a bit sadder.  We video messaged through mom's phone last week and at the end she said "That was fun but I want to see you in person". When I hung up the big sobs came again, the racking kind that take over your body. I would give anything to be there for this final walk. But by today she is no longer responding. I prayed for her over the phone and could hear her shallow raspy breaths. Mom says it is like labor. You labor your way into the world and labor your way out. With birth we have the joy of a new baby to erase the pain. With death we don't get to see the glorious rebirth that will occur but she believes in Jesus and places her trust in God and I know that she will have a beautiful new home there very soon, free from pain and suffering. 

Revelation 29:4 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away"

A sweet family friend just sent a verse to remind us of what Grandma might hear from God as she approaches the end of her time her on Earth. It is from the  Song of Songs 2: 10-12
" My Beloved spoke and said to me, Arise my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. See the winter is past, the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth, the season of singing has come"

She is ready, she is surrounded by her loved ones in person and in spirit, she has lived these 92.9 years very well, she is about to be delivered into her forever home. For that I smile.  Love you always Grandma!

My favorite picture of Gma peeking over the fence into her garden in her PJs (Dec 2016)

December 2016- motherly love

Jenna is a head taller

The boys love GG

4 Generations

I love this picture.. this is from the summer of 2015 before we moved to England. Grandma and I sat across from each other out on the porch and talked for an hour over our mochas